Monday, November 07, 2005

The Major and the Minor

"The Major and the Minor" is a great movie but couldn't be made today for fear of running afoul of the Politically Correct Crowd!
There is absolutely nothing in this movie that you couldn't show your mother-in-law or children. . . .
Okay. You might not want to show the younger females in your family how to fake being younger to get away with stuff.
You could remind them that they don't have Edith Head to dress them but then Miss Maven will have to explain who Edith Head is.
[If you don't know who Edith Head is, she's not Marilyn Mason's girlfriend for starters! She's also not a porn star so no cute cracks about her name!]
Ms. Head was the costume designer for Paramount Studios when they made "The Major and the Minor" with Ginger Rogers.
From Edith Head's Hollywood with Paddy Calistro; E.P. Dutton, Inc.; 1983; pages 59 - 60:
. . . [It] would have been easier to turna thirty-one-year-old Ginger Rogers into a twelve-year-old if we could have done it behind the scenes. But the plot hinged on Ginger doing it herself, with the audience watching. Wally Westmore was doing the makeup and hair for the film and his problems were as complex as mine. We conferred for weeks on just what to do, and we finally decided what the working-girl look had to be so we could ease into the little-girl look. Then we presented our ideas to Billy Wilder, who was making his directing debut. Naturally, Billy had his own thoughts so I had to sketch and resketch until I had finally pleased everyone.
Ginger appeared first in a simple belted blouse that could be quickly unbelted into a low-slung middy blouse, a knee-length plaid skirt that could be hiked up above her knees easily, stockings that could be crumpled down to look like anklets, and a wide-brimmed hat that looked extremely ingenue with two blond pigtails hanging out. Ginger made the transformation perfectly, and the movie received raves from the critics. After that film she asked me to do her next films at RKO, before she returned to Paramount for Lady in the Dark.
Miss Maven wishes that SHE had that much help to look that much younger. . . . SOB!
In the meantime, while her Botox takes effect, here are some lines from "The Major and the Minor" to amuse you:
SUSAN APPLEGATE: You should be very glad I'm not 12. I was a very straightforward child. I used to spit.
Come to think of it, there are some people
now that Miss Mave would like to
spit . . . . Never Mind!
FIRST CONDUCTOR: If you're Swedish, suppose you say something in Swedish.
SUSAN APPLEGATE: I vant to be alone.
Look where it got Greta Garbo!
MAJOR PHILIP KIRBY: You know Su-Su, you're a very peculiar child.
And Miss Maven has stayed that way
and enjoyed every moment of it!
CADET CLIFFORD OSBORNE: Well, the bus is here. The zombies have arrived.
Cadet CLIFFORD OSBORNE: [disdainfully] The girls from Miss Shackleford's school.
CADET LIEUTENANT MILLER: We use them for women.
[PSSST, Bob!! That's not a zombie!!
Miss Maven doesn't know what it is
but could you get it out of here,
You should see what almost passed for
dates for Miss Ma . . . . Never mind!
And now for Robert Benchley's classic:
MR. OSBORNE: Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Miss Maven won't settle for anything less than a
champagne punch, no matter how she feels like
somebody's done that to her when she's been
drinking it!
Whether Ginger Rogers really looks like she's 12 in this movie is debatable but she has the attitude down pat. At least for 1942!
And who couldn't fall in love with her co-star, Ray Milland?!
Miss Maven rates this as at least a mustsee!
Oh, nooo!
The botox is taking efffext.
My mouths gowin nummm lsdllfdklresseefkr!
before Miss Maven completely embarrasses herself!
Please send cards of sympathy and condolences to Miss Maven at


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello the "The Movie Maven"! Great addition to your blog! BTW--I knew Edith Head wasn't a Porn Star! LOL--Bill (Daytona Beach, Fl.)

7:40 PM  

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